They’re the Skodas and the Reliant Robins of the railways – the trains that everyone loves to hate. They have entered the pantheon of Great Railway Horrors along with brown Windsor soup, the curling British Rail sandwich, leaves on the line and the wrong kind of snow. Could there be a moment of greater bathos anywhere on the rail system than waiting for the grandly named “Heysham Boat Train” – once hauled by a magnificent Patriot or Jubilee – when a smoking two-coach Pacer rattles into the platform?
But now I think its time to rehabilitate these much-maligned little trains. In a world where garden gnomes, flared trousers and DCI Gene Hunt’s gold Cortina can become ironic fashion objects, surely the moment will soon dawn for the rehabilitation of the humble Pacer. Here are my top ten reasons to love Britain’s most derided train:
- They saved the branch line network. Margaret Thatcher was no lover of the railways, but she sanctioned the building of the Pacers in the mid-eighties as a low-cost train, when the alternative was service cuts.
- They’re proudly British – designed around old British Leyland bus parts.
- In an age of quiet modern carriages, the four-wheel Pacer underframe retains that authentic “clickety clack” sound and ear-splitting squeal of wheels that harks back to the heritage of Stephenson.
- The antiquated design fits perfectly into the rural railway landscape. They’re the modern equivalent of the Titfield Thunderbolt.
- The broad Pacer windows offer splendid landscape views. How much nicer than the rival Class 153 or Class 150 trains where neck-cricking is the order of the day?
- The later Pacers are generously built to fit the loading gauge. Try joining one from a Voyager at Lancaster to see how spacious they really are. (Never mind the bus-style seating.)
- There’s no air-conditioning. Just tug a window for some “free” fresh air, unlike the poor passengers on the Settle and Carlisle who sometimes stifle in the summer with the dodgy aircon of the Class 158s.
- They’re a quintessential part of the North’s identity. Some moan that northern England gets the worst trains. But look at it the other way. In a standardised age Pacers are as much part of northern heritage as black pudding, butter pies or Chorley cakes.
- The trains may be bog standard, but all Pacers have toilets – unlike London’s latest suburban designs. And a Pacer loo is more capaciously sized than that in a Pendolino.
- Even a Pacer has a second-hand value. Some withdrawn examples were sold to the Islamic Republic of Iran Railways. Think of what they have contributed to Iranian-British relations…
In 2014, the Pacers – designed to last only 20 years – will be celebrating their 30th birthday. Do I sense tears in your eyes? Pure, unalloyed nostalgia? Or frustration that the 13.15 to Leeds is late yet again…
Michael Williams’s latest book ‘On the Slow Train Again’ is published in a new updated paperback edition on February 12 by Arrow Books, price £7.19. It includes a chapter devoted to the Morecambe-Leeds line.
